Monday, January 3, 2011

Yoshi's Mistake

Yoshi Nakamura was one of the most skilled athletes in his village near Kyoto, Japan. He loved to jump, climb, and run. But most of all, he loved martial arts, especially Ninjutsu, the art of the shinobi, or more commonly, the ninja. Every day he practiced running on the roofs of houses and jumping from one to another. He liked to pretend he was a ninja, however he had never met nor seen a ninja with his own eyes. One day, he was running through the village with his friends, when he accidentally bumped into someone. As Yoshi got up to look at who he had bumped in to, he found himself gazing upon a samurai knight in a full suit of armor. The samurai had a traditional helmet with horns and a mask covering his face which looked like the face of a demon. As his friends looked on, Yoshi got up from the ground gingerly. He looked up and waited for the intimidating samurai knight to speak. "Young man, why were you running so fast, are you in a rush to get some place?" Said the samurai. Yoshi Replied, "No sir, I was just practicing to be a ninja!" The samurai's expression quickly turned hostile. "Why would you ever practice to be such a person? Get out of my sight young man, I don't ever want to see you doing this again." Yoshi felt embarrassed in front of his friends. He wanted to get back at the samurai one way or another. Now more than ever, he wanted to become a ninja. But in order to become a ninja, he had to find a ninja. A few days later, Yoshi decided it would be good practice to spy on a group of samurai while they were in the forest at night. He waited until dark, and then followed three samurai knights on the road from the village. As they got deeper into the forest, one of the samurai exclaimed that he heard noises and drew his sword. In a matter of seconds, the samurai wielding his sword dropped it and put his hand on his neck. Soon after, he collapsed. While the other two samurai were alarmed, shadowy figures emerged from the trees and made quick work of them. Yoshi quietly looked on from a safe distance, wanting to approach the ninjas. As the ninjas dragged the bodies into the pitch black forest, Yoshi stood at a safe distance beside a tree. He softly said to the ninjas, "Hello, my name is Yoshi Nakamura, and I would like to learn to be a ninja."

1 comment:

  1. I'm confused. Who got the samurai? At first I thought it was Yoshi, but he's hiding out in the forest. Who did this crime?

    You've got an interesting story so far (once you clarify the ending). Now you need to work on the formatting. How about a few paragraph breaks? Why cram the entire piece into one paragraph? Paragraph breaks slow the story down and let the atmosphere develop, and this story is very much about atmosphere. Work on the formatting and you'll have an even better story.

    ReplyDelete